I've gone through a lot since the last time I've written something on this blog. I don't know how long ago my last post was, and to be honest, I don't really care. All I know if from the point in time we can call "then" to the point "now", everything is different.
I've thought, and thought, for countless hours trying to figure everything out, everything including myself. Yet I came to one conclusion. Why? Why did I have to analyse everything? I love analysing things, because it makes it so much easier to understand them. But when it comes to life, and why we do things, there is no answer. There is no physical point where you can stop and say; "Well shit, it all makes sense now." Because nothing makes sense, and you can either freak out about it, drive yourself crazy, and probably end up killing yourself, or do what I did. I embraced the fact that nothing mattered, that all is a game, a joke, a fluke! Instead of dwelling on trying to figure out where we came from, we have the opportunity to try and figure out where we're going.
As you can most probably tell I'm in some sort of philosophical trance. Mind you, I've been in this state for a while. As I was figuring "The Meaning" out, I went through somewhat of a depression. I was confused, suffered anxiety attacks often, couldn't focus because of all the thoughts and ideas flying through my head, hell, I even starved myself for a week because I just wasn't hungry. But I came out different, as if it was some sort of transformation, a metamorphosis. I keep thinking of life, why we do the things we do. But with a more positive outlook. Think of it this way; laws, the system. All this shit I once said I hate, I do not hate them. I question them. Not questioning against, neither for, but why they are there. They are there to keep that invisible fence around the population. To keep things moving. But there is no real meaning to them. Killing someone would be considered immoral, and as consequence you'd be locked away, but maybe this killer was actually the one guy that got it, and he viewed everything almost as I did. No meaning, no matter. By killing someone he did what he enjoyed, his own personal pleasure. Do you follow personal pleasure? If you had the urge to kick in a window, would you do it? Probably not, because you're moral. Trained to be a good doggy. By the guys that are just keeping everything moving, so no one stops to think for a second. There's nothing wrong with that.
Why? Why do people run to religion? They do it because of inner peace. See, how I see everything without meaning may not appeal to everyone else just the same. Some people will get confused and even depressed, unable to figure out up from down. Going to God, helps. It stops the questioning. "Why were we put here? God put us here." The most unanswerable question in the existence of the universe has been solved. Same goes for science! Some people may think that if one is Atheist he had turned to science and logic. What does logic have to do with science though? Nothing! The big band was also something just put in place to stop scientist from losing their minds over the question; "Where did we come from?". Think of it! We are a living species or some sort, living on a rock, flying through space. Now there are other kinds of living things on this rock, but can we explain them? No! We can't even explain what water or soil really is! We just know it's there, and we need it to live, and that's that! What is the universe? Nothing! How would we be able to answer a question we know nothing about! Everything about life is just a question we know nothing about. And that's why we just live in these materialistic worlds of out own. Getting high end jobs, to buy big houses and nice things. All the keep us occupied, occupied away from a question. The only important, unimportant, irrelevant question. "Why are we here?"
Why bother being so depressed over a punchline like life? We have roughly 90 years to live. Yet we're working to live, instead of just being able to be free. Why? Because most people will kill people and steal, because once again, materialistic. I don't know how I'm coming across to you right now. Do I seem sane, probably not, but that's fine with me. A-O-K! Because sanity is just another word for misunderstanding. If you're "sane" and act "normal" I must seem crazy. Thinking of all these unimportant irrelevant things. But are you not thinking of unimportant irrelevant things too, if your purpose revolves around this created world? Maybe you're the crazy brainwashed one, and I'm the one who's thinking straight. Think of our society like a zoo. We have toys and gadgets all for out entertainment, to keep us busy while our minutes towards death are just ticking away.
Live. That is all!