Monday, June 25, 2012

Going blind.

I seem to be going blind. Well not actually. I'm writing this whole thing a little too far from the screen and I'm not wearing my glasses or contacts. This blog post has no topic, no specifics, just me writing, for the sake of writing. So, I've come to feel that I dont feel. A depersonalized figure that waltzs around until some sort of end comes too him. Let me tell you, it's pretty shitty. I dont even know whats going on right now. All I know is that I want to be where I am, because of a sense of comfort and a sense of knowing that the person I am with is still the person I wish to remain with. The one line that stuck out to me was: "It's completely irrelevant once written." And it's so true. Once something is written it is comepletely useless. The thought in your mind is dead, a dead dream that once was. Nothing is relevant. I miss you, and I dont know whay I just wrote that...fuck...I wasn't even looking at the screen when that came out and it was folloed by a "woah" Ps: I cheated I read the screen abit, typos really do piss me off on easy words. I feel as if I cant get to you anymnore. because of the fact that Icant get to myself. My mind works like a charm it writes, it reads, it intakes input, but gives no emotion. Could it be that I have become the machine I was always against? I have finally become the robot I was sworn never to become. I can't sleep well, I dont sleep. I just lie, with my eyes close and recharge llike a fuckjing cellphone. I can't really understand the difference between life and death. death is eternal rest. and life is just blind minded walking. and It's true, I'm in the juice. I don't know, I don't know. aybe it's cause I'm over tired and havent slept properly in months, maybe it's cause I'm sad, and all of this shit is just getting to me. Or maybe it's because my mind has taken over, and my emotions have all died. I'm scared...really scared. That's the only thing I feel, it's fear. I need help, but the only one who myself. -Mike

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