The Big Finale

It seems as if I grow closer to my big finale, my great end. Coward like, I am very aware, although it seems nice. To finally be able to rest, and just sleep, eternally. Lately I've been getting worse again, lost in thoughts, unable to live properly. I can't do it. I can't take it any more. It wouldn't be so bad if the pain I have only affected me, but the people I love. These innocent people on the sidelines of my life are getting affected, and it hurts so much. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want anyone to be hurt because of me. My pain happens to be here because of others, and now I'm doing the same as they did to me. Please, I just want out. I just want this all to end. I'm tired of drugs, they mask this pain. I'm tired of anger that redirects it all. I need justice, to be brought to justice. I need release and freedom, I just want to be happy, and want you to be happy. You mean everything to me, and all I see myself doing is fucking everything up...